Morality and Careers
Jul. 11th, 2012 02:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aciesanimaSometimes I feel really uncertain about my [planned] career choice.
Things that kept coming up over my school years were a strong sense of social justice, compassion and empathetic reasoning. I always felt drawn to the forces, namely the Defence or the Police, but in some ways I am frankly scared to pursue my planned careers within those respective forces.
Why? Well, not just that I'm a physically smaller female [only 5'2] looking to go into forces traditionally dominated by physically imposing males, but the amount of 'hate' they both get. I understand where the hate comes from- honestly, I really do. It's what causes the criticism that worries me: do I risk my own integrity to pursue something I feel dedicated to?
I feel as if by going into these forces that I run the risk of being tainted by their internal failures. I fear loosing myself to a greater framework that contradicts my own base morality.
Within the Defence force, there's a lot of secretive rape culture and very strong sexist inclinations. I can take sexist BS until it crosses a line because I'm frankly used to sexist slurs every day, it's just a part of society sadly. But they are often small and not intended by the user. The line is crossed when they are used with intent- then you've opened the court and it's game on. Then the rape culture: half the problem is the victims being shamed into silence. That alone is bad, but the further idea that my CO's wouldn't take an incident seriously disrupts my entire operational capability. If I can't trust my CO, if I can't respect them, then I will have serious issues following their orders and likely act of my own decisions.
There's much of the same within the Police, but a more serious threat of falling into a subconscious god-complex over the civilian populace. Being a cop does not mean you're above the rest of the community- it means you are, in fact, almost below them in the sense to support them and protect them. But the ongoing claims of police taking law, becoming fanatics and distorting it into their own purpose and acting accordingly is a dangerous risk to me. In that instance, the officer becomes the criminal.
I'm also afraid of stereotyping: the butch female cop or the try-hard chick with the dog to compensate for her small stature.
I want to be a cop because I want to protect and serve the community around me- I don't want to bust skulls or take names. If being in the RFS* has taught me anything is that I love being involved with the community despite not being an overly social person, I love working to keep it safe and to help people.
I want to be a MWD** handler because I like to work with dogs, I have a good understanding of how they think and frankly I'd be happy to stay just an LAW*** and never get promoted if I spent my days training and working with a dog. I'm not doing it to compensate for anything, I'm doing it to utilize what I'm good at to do what I feel drawn to: I work well with animals, I understand them, so why not use that to work towards protecting and serving?
It's going to be a difficult decision to make just to choose a force, but the more pressing one is if I'm strong enough within myself to withstand the internal faults of each respective system. I don't know yet, and perhaps I won't know until I'm in there. It's a big leap.
-Ales
*Rural Fire Service. Often referred to as just 'brigade'.
** Military Working Dog. Not bomb dogs in my case, actual security and guard dogs used to protect the bases themselves, control crowds, etc.
***Leading Aircraft Woman. Second lowest rank in the RAAF. MWD handlers rarely get past Sergeant.
Things that kept coming up over my school years were a strong sense of social justice, compassion and empathetic reasoning. I always felt drawn to the forces, namely the Defence or the Police, but in some ways I am frankly scared to pursue my planned careers within those respective forces.
Why? Well, not just that I'm a physically smaller female [only 5'2] looking to go into forces traditionally dominated by physically imposing males, but the amount of 'hate' they both get. I understand where the hate comes from- honestly, I really do. It's what causes the criticism that worries me: do I risk my own integrity to pursue something I feel dedicated to?
I feel as if by going into these forces that I run the risk of being tainted by their internal failures. I fear loosing myself to a greater framework that contradicts my own base morality.
Within the Defence force, there's a lot of secretive rape culture and very strong sexist inclinations. I can take sexist BS until it crosses a line because I'm frankly used to sexist slurs every day, it's just a part of society sadly. But they are often small and not intended by the user. The line is crossed when they are used with intent- then you've opened the court and it's game on. Then the rape culture: half the problem is the victims being shamed into silence. That alone is bad, but the further idea that my CO's wouldn't take an incident seriously disrupts my entire operational capability. If I can't trust my CO, if I can't respect them, then I will have serious issues following their orders and likely act of my own decisions.
There's much of the same within the Police, but a more serious threat of falling into a subconscious god-complex over the civilian populace. Being a cop does not mean you're above the rest of the community- it means you are, in fact, almost below them in the sense to support them and protect them. But the ongoing claims of police taking law, becoming fanatics and distorting it into their own purpose and acting accordingly is a dangerous risk to me. In that instance, the officer becomes the criminal.
I'm also afraid of stereotyping: the butch female cop or the try-hard chick with the dog to compensate for her small stature.
I want to be a cop because I want to protect and serve the community around me- I don't want to bust skulls or take names. If being in the RFS* has taught me anything is that I love being involved with the community despite not being an overly social person, I love working to keep it safe and to help people.
I want to be a MWD** handler because I like to work with dogs, I have a good understanding of how they think and frankly I'd be happy to stay just an LAW*** and never get promoted if I spent my days training and working with a dog. I'm not doing it to compensate for anything, I'm doing it to utilize what I'm good at to do what I feel drawn to: I work well with animals, I understand them, so why not use that to work towards protecting and serving?
It's going to be a difficult decision to make just to choose a force, but the more pressing one is if I'm strong enough within myself to withstand the internal faults of each respective system. I don't know yet, and perhaps I won't know until I'm in there. It's a big leap.
-Ales
*Rural Fire Service. Often referred to as just 'brigade'.
** Military Working Dog. Not bomb dogs in my case, actual security and guard dogs used to protect the bases themselves, control crowds, etc.
***Leading Aircraft Woman. Second lowest rank in the RAAF. MWD handlers rarely get past Sergeant.
no subject
Date: 2012-07-11 06:27 am (UTC)I'm surrounded by a lot of people in varying Forces. My father is a senior sargeant detective, and my cousin is a police officer (she is a young, petite, blonde holding her own), and we've also got military in the family. Having seen what's happened to them, I know it's very easy to get locked into the culture and lose track of original values. My cousin will be leaving as a result, though she doesn't know what she's going to do, since - I think similarly to you - she has a strong desire to work in some form of societally protective force.
It's definitely a tough issue. As you say though; you likely won't know until you're there, and it's different for everyone in the sense that... what others crumble under, some will hold up strongly. But the rape culture throughout the military is still horrible, and not a great deal of advance has been made in that arena. :/ I know too many women who have been raped by their own colleagues to ever think that's a safe space where women can trust who they work with.
no subject
Date: 2012-07-11 06:54 am (UTC)This~!
no subject
Date: 2012-07-12 01:50 pm (UTC)I too have seen what loosing one's self to the internals of a force can do- that's why I'm showing more hesitancy then some others my age heading into the forces; though that being said, most of them are males and don't have to fear quite the same amount of issues I do. It really is a balancing act over what I'm drawn to do and the compromises I may have to make- I'm also kind of afraid of the issues would arise when my integrity butts heads with the framework of my potential forces. I won't question authority or rules but should they contradict my morality then I've been known to throw off their guidelines. Such 'insubordination' would not be acceptable.
Yes, though I can get close to that experience by seeking out females in the positions I'm trying for and talking to them hopefully candidly. Once again, there have been small developments within the RAAF that give me a flicker of hope but honestly, it's going to take seriously dedicated, sincere interest from the forces themselves and a few decades until that development turns into results.
no subject
Date: 2012-07-11 06:36 am (UTC)[Okay, now the really serious and heavy stuff that actually hurts me to talk about, but if it can help you decide towards what I strongly feel is a better and more prudent fate, it's worth it...]
If you have qualms about military or police culture or psych, including but especially the way it might squish you, or modify your attitude or behaviour by simple exposure and responsibility into something you would rather not have been if you were considering it from the outside, at the start... if you have any qualms, and I think you are having them now? Don't!
If you already feel you have to stand up to something, it is not a safe space, it will wear you out each day everyday, because it is systemic, and in your face and you will be stressed by the demands of the job as it is, some days to the breaking point. I actually think that short of something like having the direct protection and mentorship of a very superior officer who is as principled, chances are there is no way you can change such a strong system or culture, or express yourself properly within it without being pushed back against. Those people who are abused or feel wrong and frustrated and trying to do well but are silent? They are not unlike you, they are not weak people, or ignorant, they are strong and principled and thought it out and gave it a chance to try to deal with it, but it is a seriously different world in that system than outside, and the system and people who perpetuate it are mentally as strong if not stronger and in far higher number than you. They thrive off that culture and system while the same system may be wearing you down and making it easy to change what your actual attitudes are, who you are, and what you thought you want to be.
I think it is important to modify your career path while your options are still wide open. Sometimes we have to say, sadly, that we would very much like something but because of certain factor or human culture or even danger to important things, we cannot accept it. It's just the way things are, so we have to look for alternatives. Important things like mental safe space, many really take this for granted and don't realize how important this is until they lose it or even knowingly give it up, usually as an experiment.
Firefighting, paramedical and rescue vocations are considered an organized (although civilian) uniformed force as well, perhaps with as much if not more respect and direct service to the community than the military. I feel there is far less or even no element of fear or suspicion or stereotyping as in police, just recognition. And, you are protecting the community in a visceral way. While still being comparatively free and being able to maintain a decent safe space.
no subject
Date: 2012-07-12 01:19 pm (UTC)And you're right- I'm at my worst when I'm stuck where I don't want to be and can't get out, but simultaneously at my best. Those situations have taught me a great deal of patience and coping strategies.
I'm lucky that I'm able to take the time now to sit and really mull things over, to gather input and varied opinions before locking anything in with resolution.
The rape culture within the Defence force is enough to make me nearly throw in now, but recent developments within my particular force [that is, the Australian Defence Force] have given me small hope: women are being phased into front-line positions over the next five years and a ridiculously in depth report has just been [mostly] publically released. That being said, there is still a very long way to go before I would consider the ADF even remotely near a 'safe space'. Half the risk of considering a job within it has nothing to do with it being an armed, active military and more to do with its own internal culture.
The matter still remains, am I strong enough to deal with it on a day-by-day basis? The particular job position I'm applying for [MWD] offers the safe-space of an animal colleague, and the force within itself [Air Force] has enough boons to perhaps balance it out [Anything to do with flying is like medicine for me, it's brilliant].
Unfortunantly, the male dominance within the town fire service is almost just as bad as the Police Force. Police Rescue is a good option though, I love being out and about in the bush in the worst weather. And I would be a horrific paramedic, not because I'm not good with injuries or high stress situations but rather the opposite: I'm likely to have a patient lying in front of me with some horrific injury and just be standing there going "Hah, oh mate! That's your sternum, I shouldn't be able to see that!" And kinda chuckling. Yeah, I have horrifically macabre sense of humor combined with an artist's knowledge of biology/anatomy.
I'm yet to seek out any females within the positions I'm applying for and talk to them about their experiences though I did spend a day with [males] of a position I had previously considered, it was worth it. Usually I trust what my gut says but even my gut is confused on this matter.